There was an article posted on the Biddy Tarot web
site Tarot coming out, so is it time for me to come out, what has been stopping
me.
Firstly confidence I was introduced to the
Tarot at 17, wow almost 40 years ago and soon after bought my first pack which
I still have. So having bought that first pack I read the little book and
started to learn what the cards meant, but oh dear all those minor arcana
cards, so I cheated and only did readings with the major cards, well I say
readings there were only a few and they were to family and friends. My Aunt was
totally surprised and embarrassed by what I picked up and told her, things she
had never told anyone and then there was a friend of my sister who was at work
a few days after I gave him a reading, that he couldn't relate to, when suddenly he realised that things I had
said were starting to happen and it lead to a bit of business success for him,
there were some successful readings for other friends to, but despite all this
I still didn't have the confidence to really start getting into doing regular
readings.
Not only did my confidence let me down but my
parent bought me a book on Tarot which was interesting but confused me more, remember
this was 40 years ago and anything tarot seemed to be based on tradition and
old school ways of looking at it, there were a number of more attractive more modern
cards being issued but for the beginner we were still contending with and being
grouped with Gypsy fortune tellers and devil worshipers.
Secondly I work in a corporate environment and
have thought that admitting reading tarot cards could be career damaging or
leading to ridicule from bosses and colleagues.
So apart from the odd reading for myself I
haven’t really done much over those 40 years.
What’s changed?
Well loads of things but mainly me.
Near on 4 years ago my body and mind decided
enough was enough and I crashed, work and a stressful family life all became too
much, I was signed off work for 7 months and only recovered through having a
pretty good Councillor who got me to open up and talk about stuff, personal
deep, deep routed stuff from dark deep places. Now not only did this help with
the healing process it also help me to start finding myself again, me, someone
I had lost years before without realising it; have I fully found myself, no, it’s
definitely a work in progress and there is still too much hidden in those deep
dark places.
But the major contributor to my recovery was a
friend Hazel, who, although she can’t see it is a very special person.
Hazel and I worked at the same place and spent
Wednesday evenings on a reception desk talking about all sorts of things but
realised that we had a common interested in spiritualism and Hazel asked if I
wanted to join her at a spiritualist church she went to, which I did from time
to time and from there I was invited to join a circle where the activities
included healing, clairvoyance, and meditation; my spiritual path was now ahead
of me and my journey started.
So with a combination of my Councillor,
meditation and a very good friend I got through the stress, OK it still catches
me out from time to time but I know how to recognise it and deal with it now and
as I say after 7 months I went back to work, a different role, less stress full
and things seemed good but there was still stress, which was beginning to drag
me down again and that was family related so on the 5 August 2012 I took one of
the hardest discussions of my life and walked out on my wife and son. My son
was 17 at the time and it broke his heart and mine but once my niece had talked
to him and he understood that it wasn't his fault and he understood I had no choice
he was fine, we meet once a week for diner and we probably talk more now than
we did then.
So I walked out of my family, where to go. Well
Hazel came to the rescue again, her husband had moved on from this life to the
next level of spiritual development, she had moved and had space, so I moved
in, we are now partners and I am a different person.
I have a stress free job, I have a stress free
life, I am with a woman who has shown and taught me what true love is, I am
still finding myself mentally and spiritually. I meditate fairly regularly and
I have joined another circle with Hazel
Wow I said about coming out, didn't think it
would be so involved and where has this
got me with the Tarot, well I've woken up to the tarot, it’s not to be feared,
worried or confused about, for me the Tarot is a tool, 78 individual picture
cards each with its own meaning and as each version of tarot comes with its own
little book explaining what the designers interpretation of the card is so the
more books you read the more confused we will be. I now know that I need to
understand the pack or packs I use enough to recognise the triggers that each
card is giving me to allow my intuition and instincts to come up with scenarios,
solutions or advise to put together a message for those who want answers or
advise to solve their issues. I have now got my head around the minor arcana
even the court cards; oh they were such a struggle.
People in business, medicine, design etc use
reports, charts, graphs, visual clues etc to trigger their initiatives and
instincts to make their decisions, so what is so different with using tarot cards
to trigger ours. I also had my eyes open about business men at a recent village
fete where I was surprised about the number of men, who I know are in business,
using the services of a card reader, looking at the expressions on their faces
this was not a just for fun encounter, there was some serious concentration and
listening going on.
I still have confidence issues, it’s not all
about looking a pratt if you get it wrong, it’s about letting people down but I
recently did 4 readings for friends, 3 were spot on and I didn’t get any feedback
on the forth, I have joined Biddy Tarots free tarot reading service and should
I have success with that then yes it is my time to come out of the Tarot closet
and admit I AM A TAROT READER.
No comments:
Post a Comment